Saturday Silly – November 10, 2018

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I recently got a new phone. As some of you know, I really am not good with the smart phones and all the apps and stuff. All that leaves my head just spinning, and I really don’t trust them anyway. People are always having trouble with them. I got myself a regular old flip phone that you have to push buttons or arrows on to get to stuff. Those touch screens drive me crazy too.

Anyway, a close friend of mine makes fun of me all the time, and calls me “technologically challenged.” But I got the goods on him the other day. He’s got one of those smart phones, but I don’t think it’s so smart after all. I was taking some pictures with my phone and sent him a selfie –of myself, of course. Now, here’s how I know that phone of his is not so smart. It totally messed up with my selfie, because he texted me back, “Oh my god, honey! Are you at the vet’s? How did that dog get hemmorrhoids?” Yeah, I’ll be sticking with my regular old flip phone, thank you very much! I wonder if someone’s Blue-tooth crossed paths with our phones or something…like maybe my friend got someone else’s picture message…wow, that poor dog.

Love you from Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly -November 3, 2018

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The street was filled with parked cars last evening. It was a nice wind -break. Someone asked me what was going on, and I told him it was the last night of Dia de los Muertos celebration. It’s a celebration to honor the dead loved ones, and celebrate their lives. Some families stay all night long on the last night, and there’s a party with music and dancing, and food. I said, “they’re all partying in the cemetery.” At first, he looked at me like he thought I was pulling his leg. Then he said, “that must be where all the music is coming from, right?” I said, “yep.” He said, “man, they’re going to wake the dead if they keep that up all night.” I laughed.

We were in line for the ten o’clock meal at the Catholic Charities. The power went out and held the whole line up. Same guy as last night, and he asked me, “What’s the hold up?” I said, “power just went out. I think those partyers woke up some dead people that didn’t want to be woke up, and they’re messing with the fuse boxes.” He looked at me the same way that he did last night, too…like I was pulling his leg…as if…

PS -I saw that the grave of that sports fan had those two boards on it again…man, they’re having a hard time getting that guy to stay put!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, November 3, 2018, 3:18 p.m.

Saturday Silly – October 27, 2018

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I told you all about the book I read not too long ago, titled, “Sabbath,” right? I started making-scheduling in time for personal growth, and especially in the spiritual area. Today I’ve been reading about some key figures in the Talmud and some Talmudic sayings. I love to learn about, and from different spiritual viewpoints. Anyway, I finished my reading from those two books and returned them back to the shelves. That’s when I noticed this book right on the same shelf, titled, “Marriage Book Camp.” Now, see, there are some things about different religious viewpoints I just don’t get. I mean, why do those Jewish ladies think they need “marriage boots?” I just wore my regular, everyday boots. Two good swift kicks, and he got the message. Nah, I’m kidding, I would never do that. I’d wear my soft little slippers.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – October 20, 2018

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You know, I hate it when you’re exactly like your real life self in your dreams. And, boy did I have a doozy of one last night. I went back in time to my romance with my little country boyfriend. His mother liked to think she could cook. Her favorite breakfast dish was a Frittata. Since they lived out in the country, they had chickens and a couple of cows.

One morning after having breakfast at his mom’s house, he asked me if the breakfast wasn’t a good one. I jokingly said, “Your mother needs to start feeding those chickens some Pico de Gallo, so that Frittata will be a little more flavorful.” Boy, oh, boy! That set off a big argument. I think every past infraction between us was brought up-admittedly, by both of us. Anyway, we both just kept getting more and more upset. Now you know how we girls are when we get all upset, right? I finally said, “Pull this car over and let me out! I’m walking back to town!” He replied with just as much irritation, “That’s just fine with me, honey! There are plenty of fish in the sea!” To which I responded, “Yeah, well it’s a good thing there are because there’s not one in the ocean who’d have anything to do with you right now!” He pulled the car over and we were both laughing so hard that it was fifteen minutes before we could continue on to town. Of course we made up! Who in their right mind would give up a crazy girl like me?!

Love you from Café du Mondieu Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, October 20, 2018, 10:11 a.m.

Saturday Silly –October 13, 2018

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MS. Hanna! Mine’s tomorrow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Marie Osmond! You’re a little bit country…I’m a little bit tuck and roll…especially today.

I was walking past the cemetery and saw the strangest sight. There was a grave that had two large pieces of plywood on it. Not only that, but there was a piece of paper attached to one of the plywood pieces. Yes, my curiosity got the better of me. I went in to get the scoop. Imagine my surprise and confusion when I read the note. “I’ve gone to watch the game; please save my place for me,” it read. I believe in the afterlife and spirits and all that. All I could think was, “man, that’s one die hard sports fan!”

I really didn’t want to see the fellow returning to the grave, so I high-tailed it out of there. Unfortunately, I stepped in a little hole as I was headed for the gate. That’s where the tuck and roll part comes in. And, someone needs to teach those little mockingbirds some manners. I could hear them laughing all the way up the block!

Love you from Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly –October 6, 2018

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Whenever I get the chance to, I love to spend a few hours reading. I love the inspirational reads, of course. Just last week I was reading T.D. Jakes’ book, “Can You Stand to be Blessed.” In one of the passages, Brother Jakes said he thought God was the first, and original Transformer. God did, after all, pull a woman out of a man.

I thought that was pretty cool. I also thought to myself, “where the heck was this book when I was married?!” I would have had all the ammo I needed right then and there. My hubby would have said –as usual, “dishes are women’s work.” My reply would have been, “If you’re created in God’s image, and He can pull a woman out of a man, so can you, buddy! Get to ‘em!” See, now I’m prepared for the next one. I love you, Brother Jakes! God bless you!

Love you from Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly -September 29, 2018

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Well, the Football season is off to a great start, eh? I’m thinking about offering myself and some of my girls to the San Francisco Forty Niners. We’ll play defense, boys. Those opposing guys won’t know what hit ‘em. And I can see it now…

“Now, you know you want to give me that ball, don’t you, big boy? What?! Oh, no you don’t want to run over me! My big brother knows where you live buddy. Yeah, and I have you number, Mr. Receiver. I can’t wait to see your wife’s face when she finds messages on your voicemail from ALL my girlfriends. Ha! What was that? Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say. Thank you; so nice of you to give up that ball. TOUCHDOWN, FORTY NINERS! Hmm, and they thought Ronnie Lott was magic on defense. C’mon girls, let’s do it again. We’re going to the Superbowl!!!

Love you from Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – 9/22/2018

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I love kids! I was talking with a friend of mine from Montana, just the other day. We talked about how fast the kids grew up, who got married, and who was expecting; all that good stuff. She told me a couple of her grandkids helped with the branding this year. “One of the boys gave Doug the idea to put a porta-potty out there for everyone, so nobody would have to waste time going back to the bunk-house or the main house. They were a little way out, in one of the summer pastures.” She laughed as she continued her story. “Little Mike and Robbie stayed with us for the week. We were having Shepherd’s pie for dinner, and Robbie decided to be a comedian. He’s the seven year old.” She laughed again, then went on. “We were just about to say grace, when Robbie asked, “What do you get when you don’t put a porta-potty in the sheep pasture? “I don’t know,” replied Mike; “what?” She laughed again and said, “Ray busted out with this big grin and could hardly contain himself.” Ray is her husband. Then she said, “Robbie said, “Shepherd’s pie, Mike; shepherd’s pie.”

It’s always nice to hear about fellow comedians. I really enjoyed that one.

Love you form Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – September 15, 2018

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I was recently gifted with a bottle of Pomegranate juice. “It’s really good if it’s ice cold when you drink it,” said my friend-the one who gave it to me. Unfortunately, the temperatures here in the desert, at this writing are upwards of 90 degrees; and this happened when they were still in the hundreds.

I tried some after having it cool in the library all day, and I really enjoyed it. The next day I was busy running errands, so I was out and about all day long. Did I mention that I’m homeless? I got to my little place on the sidewalk long after dark, and I was exhausted. I’d just finished setting up my “camp” and was about to settle down for the night. That’s when this young man came around the corner and asked if he could sit down and rest a minute or two. “Hey, it’s a public sidewalk,” I said. “I don’t mind as long as you behave yourself.” As he sat down, I noticed he had kind of a misshapen head.

I thought I’d have some more of that Pomegranate juice, so I took the bottle out of my basket and took the cap off. Sitting down, I took a big long drink. “Oh, Lord!” I gasped and sputtered. “I think this juice has fermented,” I said to the young man. “It’s a good thing I didn’t drink the whole thing down! I’d probably be drunk as a skunk,” I said. The young man laughed and asked me, “Do you drink?”
“Not anymore,” I replied. “Well,” I added, “I only have a glass of wine or a beer or two occasionally.” I told him that I did drink quite heavily when I was younger, but that I’d gotten away from all that. I said, “My favorite was Jack Daniels and Coke.” He said, “That’s my dad’s favorite drink. In fact, that’s what he was drinking the night I kicked the tire jack out from under the car, and it fell on us.” “Is that what happened to your head,” I asked him. “Yeah,” he replied, “the tired landed on my head. That’s what saved me, but my head’s kinda messed up.” I asked him, “Was your dad drinking while he was working under the car?” “No, he replied, “but he sure was after it was all over.” That’s when I had to laugh. “I think my dad said the Serenity prayer about a dozen times in twenty minutes, that night,” the young man said. I said, “Well, I guess that I’d be praying too. You could both have been killed. How long ago did that happen?” “Oh, I did that as a little boy,” he said. I nodded my head and said, “I thought so. I didn’t think you’d do something like that now that you’re grown.” “What, drink?” –was the reply. Thank you, God, for that serenity prayer. –And for laughter; my sides still hurt. LOL

Love you from Café du Mondieu

Saturday Silly -September 8, 2018

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Let me tell you, folks, sometimes I really have to wonder where my mind is headed. Luckily for me, I’m not afraid of anything, and I can roll with the punches.

I was waiting in line at the cafeteria for lunch the other day. Someone asked what was on the menu. Another person there answered, “Chicken sausages, mac and cheese, veggies, drink and dessert.” He said, “Boy, I can’t wait to taste the Chicken sausages!” I caught myself thinking just then, “Boy, you know they have to be feeding those chickens more than just steroids if they’re laying sausages.” I think I’ve been out here too long-does anybody need a comedic writer? I’m for hire.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu