Saturday Silly-April 10, 2021

Oh, my heart goes out to all you beauty operators and nail technicians. I’m contemplating a haircut for Summer; and I thought I might get my nails done too. Being a little more mature now, I am opting for the natural looking length for my acrylic nail tips. I’ve been checking out some of the salons in the area, and happened to catch this conversation between an elderly lady and the poor nail technician. “No, I don’t want those long, long squared off nails,” the elderly lady said. “Oh, you can have them any length you want,” said the technician. You might want to try the shorter version of the squared off ones.” “No”, said the elderly lady, “I like them oval shaped, and I don’t want them long because I don’t want to poke out my eye when I put in my hearing aid.” I’m not sure exactly what went through that poor technician’s mind, but it looked like it hurt.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly-April 3, 2021

Boy, all this COVID updates have got my head spinning. First things are getting better, then they’re not, then half the world seems to be shut down, then we’re on the brink of opening up again…AAAAAGGGGHHHH! I had the strangest dream recently, too. I’ve been estranged from my siblings for the last eleven years because of some stuff they pulled. But the other night, I dreamt I was talking to two of my sisters on the phone. One said the other one had COVID and needed help. I said, “I’ll come help.” The one with COVID replied, “I thought you said you were going to kill me!” Now, can you just imagine that?! I mean, my goodness; what kind of monster do these people take me for?! I said to her, “Oh, honey, I wouldn’t dream of killing you while you’re sick.” LOL

We always have baskets of goodies and dyed eggs to celebrate Easter Sunday. We do this because Resurrection Sunday coincides with the beginning of Spring, when life begins anew with baby animals being born and the flowers and greenery coming pushing their heads through the dirt. It’s also a great way to help teach kids how Jesus makes life new for us. My grandmother had a way of making sense of things for little ones. Anyway, I thought I’d share a quick and easy little “Easter basket” for your co-workers, siblings, and friends…etc. I found some great plastic water goblets on sale at the 99Cents Only store one year, and filled them with a little Easter grass and some goodies. You can tie a ribbon around the stem, or decorate them with some stickers. The ladies I made them for loved them. You can use mugs for the guys; and they love them just as much. They also make great table decorations.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – March 27, 2021

With Easter Sunday just a week away, I thought I’d share one of my favorite memories. It’s one of those “kids say…” things. It was during Holy Week that this happened. My sister and I went to services, and I took my then three year old daughter with me. I hadn’t really been in attendance there for awhile, but I wanted to go for Holy Week. She was a perfect little angel, sitting quietly during the service as the pastor spoke. Finally, he finished his sermon, and asked us all to kneel in the pews for prayer. My sister and I got on our knees, but my daughter just sat there. I whispered to her, “Honey, get down here, we need to get on the floor now.” Came the response from my little angel-LOUDLY, of course: “Why? What are we looking for, Mommy?” I heard someone in the pew behind me trying with all his might not to laugh out loud. He could hardly contain himself; and when I turned to look at him, he face was just red from the effort. I think it matched mine. I thought my sister was going to fall over right there in the pew.

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Saturday Silly-March 20, 2021

OMG! I don’t know who the heck came up with this holiday, but he, or she is not very smart, if you ask me! It’s National Proposal Day…Okay, first, you cannot tell people when they’re getting married! Secondly, Polygamy is against the law! Thirdly, (I’ll use myself as an example) thirdly, if I married all the single men in America, there wouldn’t be any left for you. Gee whiz, what an idiot!

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Saturday Silly-February 27, 2021

February is American Heart month, Spunky Old Broads month, Creative Romance month, and Canned Food month…so, The old hobo was head over heels in love with the little old lady that pushed her cart past him on the sidewalk every day. He decided he would invite her to share a meal with him one evening. She accepted his invitation. That old hobo was a romantic, and he decided he would recreate the scene from Lady and the Tramp-(one of my favorite Disney movies). He served up a can of spaghetti and meatballs, a couple of almost stale rolls, and a small bottle of red wine. The two of them sat by the fire enjoying their meal. He saved the last bite from his plate, and offered it to the lady. She, being a spunky little old thing, put one end of a noodle into her mouth, and offered him the other end.(She wasn’t born yesterday, you know; she knew what was up.) Just as their lips touched, the cell-phone in the hobo’s shirt pocket started beeping. The little old lady grabbed her chest and shouted, “Oh, my God, don’t take me now! I think I’ve found the love of my life!” The old hobo, quickly took the cell phone from his pocket and shut it off. “I’m sorry,” said he. “I forgot to shut off the alarm. It’s to remind me to take my heart pill.” “Oh, thank God,” replied the little old lady. “I thought it was my heart monitor going off and warning me of an oncoming heart attack!” Doggone it! I really love spaghetti too! I’m going to have to ask my cardiologist about that one. LOL Ha! I’m a spunky old broad too, you know!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly-February 20, 2021

Well, look what the wind blew back in! LOL! Sorry about the latest lapse; someone up to their devilish and childish havoc wreaking again.

Speaking of the wind…and childish, and havoc…I ride the bus daily. I’ve heard a lot of complaints from a variety of people, about the rudeness and unprofessional attitudes, and incompetence of some of the drivers, and the security guards. I, myself, have complained to supervisors, as well. Yesterday, I was on the bus, and the security guard got off at the bus stop to talk to the the two men sitting there. Neither one of them got on the bus; they were just sitting on the bench. This security guard seemed to be giving them the third degree, and a hard time, about it. I thought, “I wonder if it has occurred to him that someone may have hired those two men to hold that bench down. I mean, it has been pretty windy lately.” So good to be back at it.

PS -Thank you to all the drivers and guards who do their jobs professionally, and courteously. You are appreciated!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – January 16, 2021

My goodness, what a week it’s been! I had my cardiology appointment; hit the floor running to make it on time. I don’t know why, but it seems as if the buses are crawling along at fifteen miles an hour whenever you need them to hurry. Then, some of them go at breakneck speed, only to jump on the brakes with both feet and all their body weight behind them. Passengers and baggage come up out of the seats. LOL I think they need to serve cocktails on some of those buses, just like they do on airplanes. Speaking of airplanes, I was on a bus the other day, and there was a car wash just short of the stoplight. This guy was out front waving a white rag like crazy. I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to flag us down, or land a plane…we are right by the Air Base.

There are some characters on the buses, too. We passed a construction site, and someone asked what they were building there. A lady on the bus said, “Its an Amazon Warehouse.” “Oh,” replied the guy, “what’s if for?” “It’s where they’re going to lock up all the strong and angry women,” replied the lady. LOL

I got my ID renewed recently. I couldn’t believe it when I got the new card. My goodness; I need to get some good facial serum and face cream. My grandbabies will be calling me Grandma Sharpei. Sure enough, I sent a friend a selfie – of myself, and he texted me back: “Can she sit up and beg?” Hmm, maybe I could get one of the kids to take me to the dog shows; I could use the money. Ah, never mind…I can’t wag my tail like that anymore. Besides that, I’m not going to sit up and beg for anybody!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly – January 9, 2021

My cousin’s wife has been wanting breast implants for about the last three years, now. He said it’s all he hears about. My cousin is kind of a smart aleck, so when he saw this certain billboard, he couldn’t resist. The billboard read: “Growing healthcare options right in your own backyard.” He called his wife on his cell-phone, and asked her if she’d like him to pick up a pot of breasts. Needless to say, he was in the dog house with his wife. When he told me what he’d done, I said, “Gee, I should see if they have some teeth.” My cousin replied, “you better wait till you have a home again. Now, you’d have to carry them around in your cart; and they’d be rattling all the time over the bumpy sidewalks. Besides, that, there’s not much room in your little “tent.” They might bite you in the butt.”

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly-December 12, 2020

Boy, I don’t know about you all, but I believe that studio apartments have gotten so small, you may as well just rent a closet somewhere. I went with a friend to look at a furnished studio apartment recently. When we opened the door, I felt like we were walking into a closet. My friend said, “It’s not too cramped; I think I can manage this.” (She’s a little flighty, and doesn’t think things through sometimes) I thought to myself, “Oh, yeah? You’ve only been in here three minutes. Spend a whole day in it.” The apartment manager said all the furniture in it was brand new, and encouraged my friend to try out the easy chair. My friend kicked off her shoes so she wouldn’t mess up the upholstery, and settled herself in the chair. She flipped the lever and reclined the chair, and this loud voice came from next door. It said, “Oh, my God! Will you get your feet out of my lap, please?! And go change your socks!” She jumped up out of that chair so fast. She decided not to take that studio apartment…and I’m still laughing!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Saturday Silly-November 28, 2020

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I wasn’t able to post a Saturday Silly before the holiday…and now I know why. Actually, I figured that out while I was waiting for the bus Thursday morning. You all know how much I love those little mocking birds, right? Well, as I stood waiting for the bus, one of them started chirping at me. I said, “Good morning, how are you?” The little bird chirped back cheerfully. I said, “Are you ready for this Thanksgiving day, Birdie?” OMG! That little bird started chirping up a racket and carrying on. He puffed up his feathers, and then did his best dolphin imitation. LOL I couldn’t help but laugh. I said, “I don’t know what you’re worried about, you don’t even look like a turkey!” Yeah, it’s a little cheesy- – but just in case some of ya’ll missed the cheeseball, now you can say you’ve had your cheese. LOL

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu