The Other Version

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So, I there I was, in the ladies room at the courthouse, when I heard this lady singing, what I thought, at first, was Blessed Assurance.  But she sang, “Triple insurance, the Countach is mine…I’m a rich woman, because you crossed the line…I got your mansion, the boat, and the car…Oh, thank you, Jesus, it’s been a good day so far…”  I almost laughed out loud, but I managed not too.

I don’t think she knew I was in there, because she went on to pray.  “Thank you, Lord, for blessing me so richly today.  But, Lord, when you said blessings would overtake me, I sure didn’t think you meant that guy would almost run right over the top of me in that intersection.  I’m just glad I had the car in park, or I might have rear ended someone too.  I almost choked on my handbag!  It was the only thing I could find to stuff in my mouth, so she wouldn’t hear me laughing.  OMG!!!!!

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, September 19, 2019, 3:13 p.m.

Saturday Silly – September 21, 2019

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“I’m going to sue you to death,” said the woman to the guy who’d just rear ended her.  “When I finish with you, I’ll have your mansion, your boat, and that Lamborghini Countach!”  The man, a prominent attorney, and the woman’s ex-husband, shook his head in disbelief.  “We’ll see about that,” he replied.  “You aren’t getting one more red cent out of me!”

The police officer stepped in between the two and said, “Now listen, you both need to calm down so I can take your statements, and get the reports done. You, first, Maam.  Tell me what happened.”  “Well,” replied the woman, here I was waiting for the light to turn green, when he came roaring up from behind me, crossed over into my lane, and just smashed right into me!”  The police officer said, “that must have been scary, to get rear ended like that.”  “You bet it was,” replied the woman.  “I’m just glad I had the car in park, or I might have gone right into the intersection and hit somebody too.”  “Like I said,” said the woman’s ex-husband, “You’re not getting one more red cent out of me!”

I was walking along and I started singing this silly song about a Countach, and the next thing you know, I had this Saturday Silly for you.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, September 19, 2019, 3:26 p.m.

Saturday Silly – September 14, 2019

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The husband woke up with a start as his wife poked him in the ribs, almost shouting, “Honey, it’s time; the baby’s coming.”  As soon as he was dressed, and the “delivery day,” suitcase was in the car, along with mommy and baby, they headed for the hospital.  How exciting!

About 3 1/2 hours later, the labor pains increased in intensity.  Mommy was already tired of this ordeal.  “Oh, I wish this baby would hurry up and get here already,” she said. “Where’s your faith,” asked Daddy.  “Hang in there, Honey; God’s got perfect timing,” he said.  She gritted her teeth, moaned, and squeezed Daddy’s hand as hard as she could when the next pain came..  “Ouch,” exclaimed Daddy.  “Do you have to squeeze that hard?”  Mommy wasn’t impressed with Daddy’s attitude.  You promised you’d be here for me, Honey,” Mommy said. “Remember, we’re in this together.”  “I know, I know,” said Daddy.  “I just need a little break.  Think I’ll go get some coffee, if you don’t mind.”   Then Daddy realized that he’d forgotten his wallet.  “Honey, do you have any cash on you?  I forgot my wallet in the rush to get here,” said Daddy.   Mommy, still a little miffed, and very much in pain, replied, “Silver and gold have I none, but what I do have, in Jesus’ Name, I give to you.”  Daddy doubled over instantly, and dropped to his knees, clutching his tummy.  There he was, in pain as that stomach flu hit him and caused those awful cramps.  Daddy woke up from his dream with a start.  He looked at Mommy, who was sound asleep and smiling.  “Lord,” Daddy prayed, “please don’t let me forget my wallet when it’s time…and please help me be a good helper in the delivery room.”   LOL

Today’s message from God Calling – A.J. Russell, is about when faith fails.  It’s a good one, and I hope you’ll check it out at twolisteners.org.  When I read it, I thought of Peter trying to walk on the water…and later, healing a crippled man with those very words: Silver and gold have I none, but what I do have, in Jesus’ Name, I give to you.  That inspired this little story.  I wish I’d thought of that when I was having my babies…I’m kidding, their dad was awesome in the delivery room.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, September, 13, 2019, 10:57 a.m.

Saturday Silly – September 7, 2019

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My, my, my!  Lot of things to celebrate in September.  Two of my babies were born in September; one at the beginning of the month, and one at the end of it. The first Miss America, Margaret Gorman, was crowned in New Jersey, on September 7, 1921.  Among other things, this is Chicken month, and Self-improvement month.  And, September 7th is the great Buddy Holly’s birthday.

Those of you who know me, know that I like to streamline, so often I combine tasks into one smooth operation.  That’s what I did with this bit of information.  For my self-improvement project, I started working out to get rid of those chicken wings on my arms.  I happen to be a Buddy Holly fan.  So, I was doing my workout to “Oh, Boy,” one of his hits.  Now, being homeless, I don’t have any dumbbells to work out with.  Well, not the kind you lift, anyway.  Anyway, I do carry a couple of bags that contain my water and stuff.  So, here I was, listening to Buddy Holly, and working those arms.

The trouble started when I got to the exercise where you’re reaching behind you with the weights.  The very first rep I did, I reached behind me, bags in hand, and some guy snatched one of my bags and ran off with it.  One of the guys at Catholic Charities tried to chase him down, but couldn’t catch him.  He gave up and came back to where I was standing.  He asked, “What were you thinking, anyway?  What were you doing, lady?”  I said, “I was trying to exercise my arms so I can keep them firm.  Older women like to look sexy too, you know.”  He broke out in the chorus of, “That’ll be the day.”  LOL  ** This is a work of fiction.  I’d never have let either one of those guys get away with that in real life.  LOL

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, September 6, 2019, 1:06 p.m.

Saturday Silly – August 24, 2019

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I was having a little talk with the Lord yesterday, about some things that were on my mind.  I mean, sometimes I really have to wonder, you know?

God is supposed to be omniscient; all-knowing.  Well, then I really have to wonder, God, what were you thinking when you gave whoever that person was, the idea for sports bras?!  Good Heavens!  I just know my girls are plotting murder!  After having them in that thing all day, I’ll have to be afraid to go to sleep tonight.  God!  You had to see that coming, right?!  What were you thinking????

I was telling a friend of mine this stuff.  Boy, I thought I was a little flaky sometimes.  When I told her about my sports bra ordeal…getting into that thing, then getting back out of it…I thought we were going to the Olympics when I saw my breasts looked like two Shot Put discuses.  I thought to myself, “you know, God, if I could throw that far…guess what I’d be aiming at!”  Yeah, that person that invented these things!  Anyway, she said to me, “You know, that makes me wonder about something, too!  I mean, what was God thinking when He put hair on women’s legs?!  You know He knew we’re just going to shave it all off!  I mean, what woman wants to be a Clydesdale?!”  “Yep,” I thought, “dear God, what were you thinking?!”

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, August 23, 2019, 5:15 p.m.

Saturday Silly Bonus!

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Who remembers Candid Camera?  Today, August 10, 1948, Candid Camera debuted.  It was always one of my favorite shows.  I thought I’d share one of their classic pranks with you.  Thank you, Allen and Peter Funt, for years of giggles.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, August 9, 2019, 11:35 a.m.

Saturday Silly – June 20, 2019

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Was I not just talking about Jesus laughing at me?

I was on the bus a few days ago, and this guy sat down next to me.  He asked my wasn’t I that Christian blogger, Eden Stillwater.  I said, “Yes, that’s me.”  He got a little snide then.  He said, “I’m a Wiccan; what do you think of that?”  I said, “I don’t.”  He said, “You know Wiccans are witches, right?”  I said, “really?”  Then the man says to me, “I think I’ll go sit somewhere else, I don’t think I can be friends with you.”  He got up to find another seat.

I was careful to say this under my breath, but I said, “Yay, because I don’t want to be sitting next to you when that lightning bolt strikes, anyway.”  Just then my phone signalled and vibrated.  Needless to say, it startled me a wee bit; I jumped just a little.  Now, imagine my face when I looked at that phone, and the caller ID read: GOD.  I swear to you, I think I went forward in time to the judgment and backward in time to my birth all in the same minute, in my mind.  GOD.  I checked the message, and it was from some lady named Geraldine Oswald Davies.  “Hello…oh, sorry, wrong number,” it read.  Jesus will get you, yes He will.  I think both He and I laughed and laughed…I bet He’s still laughing, too.  I bet He told “GOD,” “well done good and faithful servant.”

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, July 19, 2019, 3:51 p.m.