Saturday Silly -September 1st

eden08122015

I am laughing this morning…at the world, at life in general…at myself too. My quest to eat very, very healthy this month, has begun with two cheeseburgers for breakfast, a bottle of juice, an iced coffee, and a fudge brownie.  I haven’t eaten the brownie yet; I’m saving it for later.  I’ll have it with the other iced coffee.  Okay, speaking of food and eating habits…

It seems St. Peter just loved hot dogs.  He couldn’t get enough of them.  Unfortunately, those hot doge always gave St. Peter gas.  One day, he had a bad case of flatulence, and one of the lady saints got blamed for the dirty deed.  “Pheeewwwww!  Stinkerbelle, was that you just now?”  One of the angels was there holding his nose.  The lady went right to Jesus with it.  “What do you want me to do,” asked Jesus.  She replied, “Well, you need to get rid of all the wienies up here!  Then Peter won’t be able to eat any, and that will solve that problem.”  “Granted,” said Jesus.  Later that day -(there is no night in heaven), one of angels came, frantically calling, “Jesus, Jesus!”  “What is it,” asked Jesus.  “Well,” said the angel, “I just did a head count, and about 450,000 men are missing.   -Wait, it gets better…

A little while later, Mark went to Jesus.  “Lord,” he said, “We need to get rid of  all those old iron winches.  They’ve been obsolete since before you even went to Earth, and what they’re still doing up here, I don’t know.  Anyway, I think we should get rid of them.”  “Granted,” replied Jesus.  “Go and tell Peter to get rid of them; it’s his job.”  Again, a little while later, the angel came calling frantically, “Jesus, Jesus, something’s going on up here!”  “What is it,” asked Jesus.  I just did my head count, and there are about a half million women missing.”  Jesus, went to Peter to find out what happened.   When asked about it, Peter replied,”I did exactly as Mark told me You said to do, Lord!  I got rid of all the ornery wenches.”   The lesson is that Heaven -here on Earth, is only going to be as good as you make it.   The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…and so is the way to hell.  Don’t mess with a man’s favorite munchy.  LOL

P.S. -Yep, the lady who instigated the wienie disappearance was one of the half million.

Love you from Cafe du Mondieu

Copyright by Marina Morrison (aka) Eden Stillwater, September 1, 2018, 10:27 a.m.

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